10 Things to Know if You Date a Violinist

Happy Valentines Day! If you’re like me, you enjoy all things Romantic, and I’m not just talking about the musical time period! I recently read a post called “8 Things You Need to Know Before Dating an Organist,” which served as my inspiration for this post. 

1. You’ll eat late: Dinner starts whenever we have finished teaching our students, practicing, or meeting with prospective clients. It may be later if we have rehearsals or a concert. Better yet, just plan on cooking for yourself! As my violin teacher said to her husband, it’s a YOYO night. “You’re On Your Own!” 

2. Plan an escape room where you can block out the noise of beginning violin students. My teacher’s husband had an entire room where musicians were not allowed to enter and bother him. We broke this rule frequently. This room may be your study, basement, or, if these are still too close, the garage.

3. You have a large role to play at home recitals: Vacuum the house, set up all your chairs and borrow more. If you have kids, keep them from screaming in the middle of a student’s solo. Ideally, prepare a special treat for the guests. My teacher’s husband was famous for his green lime sherbet punch at the St. Patty’s Day recital. Following in this vein, I was impressed with my guy when he roasted marshmallows with the students in our backyard after a recital. He also set up a beanbag toss to play with the students and their siblings while I chatted with parents. Creativity is key! 

4. Sometimes date night means you dress up to sit alone at a concert where your date is performing. It may be sad to sit by your lonely self, but at least you can see your talented significant other on stage! You can always brag that you are with the violinist. If you behaved well at the concert (not too much texting or scrolling on your phone), you might grab dessert with her afterwards.

5. Don’t touch the instrument until you have been together at least a year; maybe two, or perhaps five. After that, you will be promoted to roadie for all concerts. You will be expected to carry the instrument, music stand, music bag, and possibly an amp and microphones. You will be dubbed photographer, videographer, and sound engineer as well. 

6. Be adaptable. This may mean traveling with the violinist across the globe for a concert or gig. I will always remember leaving my guy with my cellist’s dad in France while I played wedding. Although the two didn’t speak the same language, they had fun at the hardware store picking out tools. Apparently music isn’t the only universal language! 

7. Get used to sitting alone at church. The moment your organist or praise team director discovers your date plays violin, s/he will probably play in the balcony or on stage more than sitting with you in the pew. 

8. Don’t refer to your female date as a mistress when you meant to say “concert mistress.” Just say “concertmaster” and your life will be easier. 

9. Become familiar with the parts of the violin. What seems scandalous to you might not be that bad in the violin world! 

10. Be their biggest fan. Nothing says you love your violinist more than telling them how wonderful they performed at a concert. (Even if they missed their shift to the high note…) Violinists want to know that you appreciate their music, because it’s a huge part of their identity!